The Pegasus Awards

The Evil Eyeball

Sibylle Machat

Pegasus Nominations

Year Category Sample
2017 Best Classic Filk Song mp3
2011 Most Badass Song  
2008 Best Comedy Song
 

The Evil Eyeball

Copyright © 2004 Sibylle Machat- All Rights Reserved
Used by Permission

Notes: Insert banter and other nonsense as desired or (in)appropriate. Contains spoilers.

CHORUS:
I’m the eyeball, evil eyeball
Big evil eyeball, doom’s my thing
And I want, yes I want
Back my precious ring!
And I want, yes I want
Back my precious ring!

Foolish mortals who think to deny me!
They all shall weep and they all shall fall
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And I rule them, yes I rule them all!

Saruman the white is now the fallen
My will he does, my uruk-hai he breeds
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And I’ll send the, I’ll send them to Helm’s deep!

CHORUS

Haldir the elf to Rohan’s aide went marching
Which surprised me – what was he doing there
But I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And if one more elf dies see if I care!

The battle was fought and I was defeated
What outrage is this, how could they dare
for I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
and my revenge will see how then they fare!

Isengard left helpless was destroyed
By a bunch of walking leafy ents!
And I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
Nothing between me and Osgiliath stands!

CHORUS

A hobbit into my Palatir looked
Finally I know where the ring has gone
And I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And this battle by me will be won!

- long pause -

Minas Tirith – well, lets not talk about it
The army of the dead, Rohan’s riders and Islidur’s heir?
Gainst only the eyeball, the tiny insignificant eyeball
Rightfully I say that battle was not fair!

Back to Mordor I withdrew my forces
To let them rest and just to wait and see
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And now they dare to challenge me!

CHORUS

To the black gate their army went marching
Where the ring went I no longer know
And I am the eyeball, and the stress here is on eyeball
“May the lord of the black land come forth”, he says
Well, tell me HOW?

So to smash them my army I send out
Not a chance in hell they stand against me
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
but wait, why does my tower shake so strangely?

 

CHORUS (with alternate text):
No more eyeball, evil eyeball
Big evil eyeball and I’m faaalling
They’ve destroyed, yes they’ve destroyed
My precious, precious ring!!
They’ve destroyed, yes they’ve destroyed
My precious, precious ring!!

 

CHORUS


 

 
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