The Pegasus Awards

The Evil Eyeball

Sibylle Machat

Pegasus Nominations

Year Category Sample
2017 Best Classic Filk Song  
2011 Most Badass Song  
2008 Best Comedy Song
 

The Evil Eyeball

Copyright © 2004 Sibylle Machat- All Rights Reserved
Used by Permission

Notes: Insert banter and other nonsense as desired or (in)appropriate. Contains spoilers.

CHORUS:
I’m the eyeball, evil eyeball
Big evil eyeball, doom’s my thing
And I want, yes I want
Back my precious ring!
And I want, yes I want
Back my precious ring!

Foolish mortals who think to deny me!
They all shall weep and they all shall fall
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And I rule them, yes I rule them all!

Saruman the white is now the fallen
My will he does, my uruk-hai he breeds
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And I’ll send the, I’ll send them to Helm’s deep!

CHORUS

Haldir the elf to Rohan’s aide went marching
Which surprised me – what was he doing there
But I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And if one more elf dies see if I care!

The battle was fought and I was defeated
What outrage is this, how could they dare
for I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
and my revenge will see how then they fare!

Isengard left helpless was destroyed
By a bunch of walking leafy ents!
And I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
Nothing between me and Osgiliath stands!

CHORUS

A hobbit into my Palatir looked
Finally I know where the ring has gone
And I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And this battle by me will be won!

- long pause -

Minas Tirith – well, lets not talk about it
The army of the dead, Rohan’s riders and Islidur’s heir?
Gainst only the eyeball, the tiny insignificant eyeball
Rightfully I say that battle was not fair!

Back to Mordor I withdrew my forces
To let them rest and just to wait and see
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
And now they dare to challenge me!

CHORUS

To the black gate their army went marching
Where the ring went I no longer know
And I am the eyeball, and the stress here is on eyeball
“May the lord of the black land come forth”, he says
Well, tell me HOW?

So to smash them my army I send out
Not a chance in hell they stand against me
For I am the eyeball, the big evil eyeball
but wait, why does my tower shake so strangely?

 

CHORUS (with alternate text):
No more eyeball, evil eyeball
Big evil eyeball and I’m faaalling
They’ve destroyed, yes they’ve destroyed
My precious, precious ring!!
They’ve destroyed, yes they’ve destroyed
My precious, precious ring!!

 

CHORUS


 

 
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