Business Plan for the Apocalypse

Eric Distad

Business Plan for the Apocalypse

Words and Music: Copyright © by Eric Distad
All Rights Reserved
Lyrics posted with permission of the author

Hooray, the share price went up. Good job everyone.
To celebrate, help yourself to a minute of corporate sponsored fun.
Hooray. Time.
We're in a good position. Ignore the warning of our world's doom.
Yeah, a meteor's on its way, but we are in control in the boardroom.
We make the big bucks for making hard calls.
Just remember what matters after all.

Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
Just because the end is nigh, that's no time to quit.
This market's trending buy, and we will corner it.
Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine.

So, the end is hours away. We've cancelled all your PTO.
All hands on deck, people.
If we can pull together, we'll be the only ones at the trade show.
Think of all the new sales opportunities to all of the surviving new species.
Do Morlocks need iPhones?

Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
We need to shift some paradigms. Think outside the box.
What if we travel time? Create a paradox.
That can wipe out the universe. Well, that'll be a result.
Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.

We are really good at looking like we care.
But take some time and you will find that all we love is the bottom line.
And max value for every share.
It's all for our shareholders, even if they're dead.

Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's our business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's our three-step plan for the apocalypse.
Step one, panic.
Step two, panic.
Step three, ice cream.

And then panic.

Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's a basic programme for the apocalypse.
10 lie down.
20 put bag on head.
30 go to 10.

Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
Here's the business plan for the apocalypse.
For the apocalypse.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
I Fine Feel... oh, wait.